A Guide for First-Time Moms: I see you

I know first hand how profound and transformative becoming a mom for the first time is. There is so much joy, excitement, and happy tears. However, it can also bring a whirlwind of emotions and challenges that impact you in ways you could never have imagined. There are the sleepless nights, anxiety, sadness, and feelings of lack of control and you are trying your very best to control everything. As a licensed marriage and family therapist and a fellow mama, I want to shed some light on perinatal mental health (fancy term for “I just became a mom and I don’t know what or how I’m feeling”).

Understanding Perinatal Mental Health

Perinatal mental health encompasses the emotional well-being on individuals during pregnancy and up to one year postpartum. While many women experience some level of anxiety or mood fluctuations during this time, some may feel more significant mental health challenges such as:

1. Prenatal Depression and Anxiety: It is common to feel anxious about all the changes and responsibilities ahead. However, persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or fear may indicate a deeper issue that can be helped by talking to a professional.
2. Postpartum Depression: Symptoms can include overwhelming sadness, irritability/anger, difficulty bonding with your baby, negative intrusive thoughts, and changes in sleep and appetite (outside of the normal sleep deprivation due to feeding your baby every 2-3 hours). This impacts about 15% of new moms.
3. Postpartum Anxiety: This can often coexist with postpartum depression, but not always. Feelings of restlessness, racing thoughts, excessive worry, and general feelings of lack of control.
4. Postpartum PTSD: Traumatic childbirth experiences can lead to PTSD. Moms can experience flashbacks, severe anxiety, and intrusive thoughts.

Why Awareness Matters!

Recognizing the signs of perinatal mental health issues is crucial to get you the help you need. Many first-time moms feel guilty or ashamed about their struggles. So many believe they should be reveling in the joys of motherhood, and often wonder “What’s wrong with me?” It’s important to remember that these feelings are valid, your feelings matter. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness, but one of strength.

Factors Contributing to Perinatal Mental Health Issues:

1. Hormonal Changes: The fluctuations in hormones during and after pregnancy can significantly impact mood.
2. Lack of Support: Feeling isolated or lacking a positive support network can increase feelings of anxiety and depression.
3. Life Changes: The huge transition to parenthood brings new responsibilities, schedule and routine changes, and can also impact partner relations.
4. Previous History of Mental Health Concerns: If you have  a history of anxiety or depression, you may be at higher risk of experiencing similar challenges during the perinatal period.
5. Unrealistic Expectations: In today’s social media world, moms are often left feeling inadequate or “not good enough.” Social media often portrays an idealized version of parenthood that is often unrealistic.

How to Get Support

• Educate Yourself: Understand the emotional changes that come with the perinatal period. Validate your feelings, know that what you’re feeling is so common among other moms.
• Build Your Village: Reach out to friends, family, and community support groups. There are so many support groups for new moms, it also helps you to get out of your home. Share your feelings with others to avoid feeling isolated. Allow those around you to help, when someone offers to help, take it.
• Practice Self Care: Prioritize your mental health by increasing your self care activities. This can be mindfulness exercises, getting enough sleep, eating foods that nurture you, picking up a book, doing hobbies that bring you joy,
• Seek Professional Help: If you’re experiencing persistent feelings of anxiety, sadness, or feeling overwhelmed, reach out to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to thrive during this life stage.
• Be Kind to Yourself: Adjusting to motherhood is a huge process. Give yourself grace and patience to experience the ups and downs without any judgment. It’s okay to not have it all figured out.

As a first-time mom, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Prioritizing your well-being will set the foundation for a healthier relationship with yourself and your baby. If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for support. You are not alone on this journey.